Saturday, March 26, 2011

Awesomeness

Awesome is when you go to DI and find a vintage suitcase for a photo prop, plus 3 Encyclopedia Brown books and 3 Ramona books, some fabulous 70s patterns and a pair of hot pink corduroy pants that are blinged up on the back pockets (for the 4 yr old of course).

Awesome of a different version is when you discover you left the keys in the car.  And you remembered to lock the car.

Awesome-oadv (see above) is when you didn't shower that morning so your hair is pulled up and all frizzy around your face and you're wearing your ragged old reliable coat that is stretched tight around your ballooning stomach and you have your dirty faced toddler in a shopping cart that has a full grocery sack, your purse, and of course a suitcase, and you push that shopping cart along in search of the elusive. . . . .pay phone.

Awesome-oadv is when you push a filled shopping cart down the street to Walgreens in hope they have a pay phone and when they don't you go in and ask if they know where you can find one and you are directed across the street to 7-eleven where you immediately head only to find out that their phone is out of order.

Awesome-oadv is when you go into 7-eleven and ask the clerk who at first ignores you because you look like a transient with a shopping cart holding all your worldly possessions plus the child you stole when it's mother wasn't looking.

Awesome is when the 7-eleven clerk tells you that Maceys has a pay phone, and he's pretty sure it's the nearest one so you head over to Maceys and find not one, but two fabulous working pay phones.

Awesome-oadv is when you call home and no one picks up because your husband is asleep and your four year old doesn't know how to answer the phone.

Awesome-oadv is when you call 4 times over the space of an hour with no response despite hollering for your 4 yr old to go wake up her father.

Awesome is when you give up on the calling and buy some donuts and juice at the grocery store and discover they make RASPBERRY fritters.  Mmmmmmmm.

Awesome is when there's also a troup of girl scouts outside the store so you're able to buy their last box of Do-Si-Does to send to France as it's the last day of Girl Scout cookies until next year.

Awesome-oadv is pushing previously described shopping cart back over to DI and in the process of going over a very uneven street you get stuck on a part where the street is up 2 or 3 inches higher than the part you're on and there's a car 5 feet behind you trying to make a right turn, so you finally get the heavy shopping cart up and over said "bump" and end up jarring the toddlers hands making her drop 2/3rds of her donut resulting in instant tears and trauma as she wails while reaching out to the left behind bit of food.

Awesome-oadv is when you discover that there's no sidewalk along the stretch of road you took when heading back thus leaving you to walk on the shoulder of the road with fear that a car will come roaring around the bed and whack into the three of you (that's right, Butterfly counts in such instances!)

Awesome is when the weather for all this is nice and overcast with a not to hot, not too cold temperature.

Awesome is when your toddler is quite content to play on the grass in front of where your car is parked while you read an Encyclopedia Brown book.

Awesome-oadv is when the wind starts picking up and you start getting cold and tired of waiting for someone to finally check the answering machine and hear your messages so you get up and start the trek back to Maceys, first stashing all your purchases into the suitcase and tucking it into the luggage/bike rack bars on top of your car praying no one will take it while you're gone.

Awesome is finding a shorter, safer route to Maceys.

Awesome is calling home and having your husband answer and confirm that he will come rescue you.

Awesome-oadv is when you try to kill some more time by walking around the dollar store only to have the toddler, who is getting tired and raunchy, latch onto some sticky squishy octopus toy things and scream bloody murder when you take them away from her and continues screaming half of the way back to DI.

Awesome is finding an even shorter route from Maceys to DI which is part of the river trail and so it distracts your little Mischief one as she excitedly points to the river and is quiet while you walk through the tunnel that goes under the street.

Awesome is not waiting very long before your husband arrives with your brother and unlocks the car.

Awesome-oadv is when he asks where your Drama Queen is, to which you reply, she was at home with you, and have him counter that no, she's not at home.  No one was home when he got up.

Awesome-oadv is when you drive home as fast as you dare because well, you're driving without a license as it is, and apparently your 4 yr old has disappeared.

Awesome is when your suspicion that she went next door is true and that your suitcase, which you forgot was on top of the car at the news that the Drama Queen was missing, is still safely on top of the car.

Awesome is knowing there's little to no chance of this day happening again.

8 comments:

Shannon said...

That was truly an AWESOME post. I was busting up. Thanks for the laughs, sorry they were at your expense! Glad you found Maddie safe and sound and that your purchases were still intact.

Mary said...

Wow, what a day! So glad you found your missing 4-year old and managed to stay safe and sane! Some days are just like that, aren't they! Glad you're okay! Love, Aunt Mary

Burnhams said...

oh wow!

Julianna said...

Holy cow. Really.

I think I would have given up and either broken the window, or called someone else.

Truthfully, I have no idea what I'd do without AAA. With two 12 year old cars, it's a lifeline. :)

sleepless said...

Abby..You did REAL good dealing with this day !! Good thing your guardian angels were working overtime. !

Princess Abigail said...

OH

MY

GOODNESS

What an amazing saga ... you do get into some sticky situations Abbey ... and you deal with them with such grace!

Well done!!

Laurel said...

I had something of a similar experience yesterday. . . not in the details, but in the level of awesomeness.

Glad everything worked out and DQ was found!

Jamie H said...

wow, I seriously thought it couldn't get much worse, and then it did. I'm so sorry. You know I've always found nice people with a cell phone that were more than happy to let me call home when I've locked myself out. And I've asked to use the store phone on more than one occasion and they've always been obliging. Not that that would help if nobody's answering. What a day Abby- truly "awesome is knowing there's little to no chance of this day happening again." whew! I hope not!