I was willing to just go with the doctor's no VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean) policy even though he had never met me or heard my medical history. It was just the easy thing, you know? I'm a people pleaser. Then I watched Pregnant in America on Netflix and remembered how horrible recovery from the unnecesarean was. That's right, I've joined the unnecesarean club. The doctor who delivered Mischief didn't even give me any other options. It was later (okay, today) that I learned doctors can TURN posterior babies. He never tried to do that. She wasn't a massive baby, my contractions were still mild, not forcing her down at all, my water had just gushed, that's all. I'm certain she had room that she could have moved had I been told it was a possibility and what to do or if he had even tried.
Yes, two years later I am still very bitter about that cesarean section. Most of it comes from feeling lied to. He had me absolutely convinced that if I tried to deliver her vaginally, she'd break her neck or arm or both. Made me feel like it'd be selfish and oh so dangerous to disagree with him.
After watching Pregnant in America and The Business of Being Born, I got to researching and looking into things and I really don't know how the doctor I'm currently seeing (and no I haven't gone to the same Obgyn for any of my girls, we've moved so much) came up with my having a one in four chance of major MAJOR VBAC complications due to the fact that my water breaks before labor begins and usually at 38 or 39 weeks.
So I've been researching information and finding that even The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists has changed their stance to saying, "Attempting a vaginal birth after cesarean (VBAC) is a safe and appropriate choice for most women who have had a prior cesarean delivery, including for some women who have had two previous cesareans"
Though doctors will tell you the dangers of a VBAC, how many cover the dangers of a cesarean? Another quote from The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists:
"Both repeat cesarean and a TOLAC [Trial Of Labor After Cesarean] carry risks including maternal hemorrhage, infection, operative injury, blood clots, hysterectomy, and death. Most maternal injury that occurs during a TOLAC happens when a repeat cesarean becomes necessary after the TOLAC fails. A successful VBAC has fewer complications than an elective repeat cesarean while a failed TOLAC has more complications than an elective repeat cesarean."
I have decided to talk to a local hospital based midwife group about a VBAC. Since we will be switching to Medicaid after this month (yes I know we should have applied sooner as it take at least two months to kick in) I figure now is as good a time as any to look into second opinions. The doctor I am seeing now does take Medicaid. But I really don't like that VBACs aren't even an option with him and he has the older view that a VBAC is a death sentence for mother and baby.
I am praying about it. I just get so confused because Mr. Man is against it. He's been against natural birth since the beginning of our marriage. I wanted to try a full natural birth with Drama Queen, but when you're in the worst pain you have ever ever been in and your husband is there telling you to just get the epidural and how you'll have no pain at all then, you are certainly going to give in. And yes, I was grateful for the epidural. It was marvelous. But now Mr. Man is thrilled with the prospect of knowing exactly when we'll have the baby and has no doubts at all about what the doctor said but rather looks at me as though I've grown a third eye, when I talk about wanting a VBAC still. My other main issue is that I really do like the Dr. I'm seeing. I just wish he'd at least give the option of a VBAC. If he did I'd declare that I'd found the perfect doctor.
And now I'm going to make him watchin Pregnant in America much to his horror.
UPDATE: He made it through the first 40 minutes before he was done. He is open to finishing it later. It is a long documentary and not the kind of documentary he likes. BUT within those 40 min, I felt him relax a bit and now he's pondering if it's possible that my post partum depression was a side effect of my epidural (I don't think so, but I'm happy he's thinking) and he thinks midwives are great, but thinks they should have their own place at a hospital without doctor interference. Oh happy day because I'm calling American Fork Midwives today! They're a hospital based midwife group. :)