Wednesday, February 1, 2012

The runaway, Part 2


After discussing her complaints and wants, we came to an agreement that she'd give us one more week of a trial.
When I got to school and we were in the lunch line, she turned to me and said she did not want to stay another week she wanted a new home now. One that was pretty.  I told her how about the playhouse from Uncle Matt and Aunt Emily?  That could be her new house she could sleep in it and make it pretty how she wants.  No.  She didn't want that house.  She wanted a different house with a different mommy.  She started crying in line because I told her she had to come back to our house.  I didn't know what to do.  So she sat and ate her lunch with her friends while I tried to keep an over tired Hazel happy and keep Mischief from getting in the way of the janitor.

On the way to the car she kept going on about how she was not going to stay at our house, and I had enough and told her fine, she if she was that determined then she could go find a new house and a new mommy.  Then we got to the car and she needed help getting buckled, "Mommy? Can you buckle me?"  I thought I wasn't your mom.  Instant tears, because she couldn't get buckled, not because I pointed out that she didn't want me for her mommy anymore.  We got home and she got her backpack while Mischief excitedly started for the playroom to put together the cardboard house.  Drama Queen wanted to help, but I told her it was a present for the little girls who lived in this house, and if she wanted to make and color the house with us, then she'd have to re-decide to live here.  Nope, not interested.  She grabbed her backpack and announced she was going to go live at Linda's.  Out the door she went and a few minutes later returned bawling, saying she would live here.

 I happily thought that reverse psychology worked...........only to discover about 15 minutes later that the truth was no one was home next door.

Once tired of putting a dozen pairs of shoes in their new house, Drama Queen came to me and said she wanted to make a house for her and teddy up on her bed.  Having been through this event and the mess it leaves behind, I said no and pointed out that she just make a beautiful new house, why not use it (and thereby keep all the toys in the playroom - cause their room got cleaned yesterday). Instant tears.  Nooooooooooooooooooo, she wanted a house just for her and teddy and no one else.  And I admit I was just done and I said fine, go find a new home.
 She perked up and said "Really?!"
Yep, bye.
So she ran and grabbed her backpack and was out the door.  And back in a minute when she discovered Linda still wasn't home.  She decided she'd go up the street and find a different house.
Okay bye.
Instant tears.
But it makes me sad to think of that.
Then stay.
No I want a new home!
Then go.
I want you to help me find a new house.
Not happening, I love you and want you to live here with us.
*bawling*.
 So I went into what did she think that the people at her newly chosen house would say, Yes please, live here random little girl?  What do you think will happen when they have to go to work?  Like Don and Linda, they have to go to work during the day just like now, what do you think you'll be doing, do you want to sit on the porch in the cold all day while they are at work?  Does that sound like fun?  Or would it be better to be in a home with your family and toys and little sisters to play with?
But I don't like it here, it's not pretty.  I want a nice mommy!
Oh that's why you don't like it here, cause I'm a mean mommy and you don't like me?
Yes.  You're not nice.  I don't like being in time out.
Honey, all kids get put in time out.  Have you asked your friends at school, I'm sure they get put in time out sometimes too.  And they have to clean up their toys too.
She didn't say anything and just kept crying.  I told her to go lay down until she felt a little better.

And that's how it ended.  With no solution and whispers that she's going to run away when mommy and daddy are asleep tonight.
We've locked the screen doors as well as the locks on the doors.  I've put the swing and my donate bags infront of one door, because she knows how to undo the door locks.  We'll block the other door with the treadmill.
Mr. Man talked to her after I shared all this and he talked to her and said she agreed she'll stay here.  He told her all the things she wouldn't get to do if she didn't live with us.  Though she said she wants to stay and loves us, I'm sure the thought is still lingering there because she's said that to me twice throughout the day and I also tried that tactic.  I pointed out the things she'd miss out doing with her sisters, and that she wouldn't get to talk to Namma on the computer anymore, etc.
I'm out of ideas and to tell the truth, I'm drained.  I'm done.  I don't know how to deal with the situation anymore.  I'm in automode.  Which is also yes mode because it's just easier.  Hence why she will be sleeping in the cardboard house tonight once she's decided she's watched enough Backyardigans.  I just want this day to be over.  I just want this life to be over.  If this is what I'm having to deal with already, I don't want to know what lies ahead in the teenage years.
The one nice spot of this day with her was after her shower she let me put her hair in rag curlers.

3 comments:

sleepless said...

5 minutes at a time Abby. You CAN do anything 5 minutes at a time !! Life with my children was not easy !! You rented a room because you couldn't hack us as an adult. It was no easier for you as a child either. You signed up for the long run when you had children...they come how they are..just LOVE them as they are and work through each and every challenge. Prayer helps. Mama loves you !

Aimee said...

I tried running away when I was 10. Got as far as the front porch because I forgot my shoes and my dad wouldnt let me back in to get them. My next door neighbors said I could live there but I had to sleep with the dog outside (they were in on it with my folks). I am sure every kid goes through it. I am not yet a parent but have heard some great ideas that might work. Growing up anytime I wanted to run away (before I was 10) I had an amazing two story playhouse that my dad built, I never had to clean it and if I didnt want to let anyone in I didnt have to which came in handy with 7 brothers and sisters. Maybe she could have a place in the house that is all hers. My youngest sister had half the closet as "her" room. I think that you are an amazing mom. If you want you can ship her to me. She will have to share a room, pick a chore and do it weekly but she wont have any baby sisters. Keep your head up Abby. You are AMAZING.

Laurel said...

I agree with your mom about prayer. Heavenly Father can see into our children's hearts and he can tell us what they need. He can also see into our own hearts and teach us to be better mothers to the children that we have.