Apparently being 30+ years old has me pondering life and goals. It also has me looking at things differently. I feel like it's a bit selfish, but I am starting to change the way I put my desires, thoughts and feelings on the back burner. This came about in part by these two shares by a gal in our ward who uses her facebook to share inspirational things.
Also having a 4th kid has helped too. 4 was always my minimum, but I put Mr. Man's opinion that 3 was plenty ahead of my own though I didn't feel complete. I am still open to more and thankfully he is now too.
Anyway. I did try once to change to how things felt right for me, but found it difficult to keep it up when I was the only one (and it cost too much to replace glass food storage bowls that Mr. Man kept losing at work after I had successfully eliminated plastic from our cupboards...)
But having my 4th baby seems to have brought some strength to me, that my needs can be met even when it seems in opposition to someone else's desires, and the world wont come to an end.
And so the main other things that have been sitting in my head are coming out for a try! First, we are going to give homeschool a try this next school year. Mr. Man agreed hesitantly, mainly with the backing of that if it doesn't work out at least I will have it out of my system. My soul is singing with the anticipation of it! And my other weirdness that I desire is to make the girls wardrobes. So I am working on that. It is taking a while since sewing time and tiny baby do not really work out.
And we are going to plant raspberries along the back of the trailer!
It is nice to have hopes and dreams again and not feel bogged down with thinking it is worthless to have them.
And now I am going to feed this baby and pass her off to her daddy whom she adores so I can work on her sisters Easter dresses some more.